Musings

You are Worthy.

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Worth is the value of something measured by its qualities or by the esteem in which it is held. 1 You are not your mistake, failed marriage, lost job, failed exam, or your material possessions. The value you place on yourself determines how others treat you, just like the dollar bill is always worth a dollar no matter what you do to it: rumple it, step on it, tear it, still a dollar. Why? Because the marketplace and the society agreed to accept it as legal tender no matter what. High self-worth boosts your self-confidence and self-esteem; you tell people how to treat you by the worth you place on yourself.

Most of us live an “If then” life, if I succeed, get rich, have cars…then I will be happy. We attach our self-worth to our worldly attachment and self-identity with them. When we lose these possessions or accolades, it often affects our self-esteem and self-confidence. In his 2005 interview with Jay Stone, Canadian actor and comedian Jim Carrey made the following observations – earlier in his career, he believed that making just one more film, getting one more hit, would be enough, but he got tired of being emotionally disappointed.

“You just go like, ‘Yeah, it was a fantastic hit, but what now?’” Carrey’s advice: “I think everybody should get rich and famous and everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that that’s not the answer.”

Here is a great parable about the value of knowing your worth, as told by a grandfather to his grandson.

Here is your grandfather’s gold watch, and it is a couple of hundred years old. But before I bequeath it to you, I want you to go to the watch shop and see how much they would offer you.

The child went, and then came back, and said the watchmaker offered 7 dollars because it’s old and has some scratch.

The old man said: go to the coffee shop.

He went and then came back, and said: they offered 4 dollars.

The old man said: Go to the museum and show that watch.

He went then came back, and said to his father “They offered me a million dollars.”

The father said: “I wanted to let you know that the right place values you in the right way.

Don’t find yourself in the wrong place and get angry if you are not valued.

Those that know your value are those who appreciate you, don’t stay in a place where nobody sees your value.

Never doubt, and always believe in yourself by knowing your worth and that there are those who clearly appreciate these values.

Our inner dialogue and self-worth will determine the type of people we allow – or
reject – in our lives. If we don’t believe we deserve things like real love, peace of mind, and
hope, we will subconsciously sabotage ourselves. We will wonder why we never have them in
our life. We can live aimlessly and keep being drawn to the same type of unhealthy people.
Instead, we need to fully see that we are different and improved individuals. A new group of
people will be attracted to us as well. 1

Do not spend time regretting the past, but invest that time wisely by preparing a better future. You are a fertile seed of the creator of all things, destined not to lie dormant, but to spring forth from the soil called life, and grow upward toward the unlimited horizons— overcoming all obstacles in the process. 

Do not doubt yourself, for where doubt resides, confidence cannot. Do not neglect yourself, for with neglect comes loss. Do not imagine yourself to be less than you are, nor more than you are, but seek always to become all of which you are capable. Do not allow yourself to become arrogant or discourteous, for both are characteristics adopted by those who seek to cover their weaknesses. 2

When self-esteem is low, we are often manipulated by fear. Fear of reality, to which we feel inadequate. Fear of facts about ourselves—or others—that we have denied, disowned, or repressed. Fear of the collapse of our pretenses. Fear of exposure. Fear of the humiliation of failure and, sometimes, the responsibilities of success. We live more to avoid pain than to experience joy.

To have high self-esteem, then, is to feel confidently appropriate to life, that is, competent and worthy in the sense I have indicated. To have low self-esteem is to feel inappropriate to life; wrong, not about this issue or that, but wrong as a person. To have average self-esteem is to fluctuate between feeling appropriate and inappropriate, right and wrong as a person; and to manifest these inconsistencies in behavior, sometimes acting wisely, sometimes acting foolishly—thereby reinforcing the uncertainty about who one is at one’s core. 3

Podcast

  • If we don’t believe we are worthy at our core, we will never be happy and fulfilled.

In life you don’t rise to what you believe is possible, you fall to what you believe you are worthy of.

  • You don’t soar to the level of your hopes, you plateau to the level of your self-worth.
  • Meditations
  • Daily Calm with Tamara Levitt – Conflict Resolution
  • No matter how hard we avoid it, we all become entangled in conflict but when we handle conflict mindfully, these periodic bumps and scrapes don’t descend into chronic wounds. Steve Covey – Seek First to understand before you are understood – A chance for anger to soften, clarity to surface and resolution to emerge.

Peace is not just the absence of conflict; peace is the creation of an environment where all can flourish. – Nelson Mandela

  • Daily Jay with Jay Shetty – Switching Modes
  • The Alter Ego Effect: The Power of Secret Identities to Transform Your Life by Todd Herman

All the Best in your quest to get better. Don’t Settle: Live with Passion.

Lifelong Learner | Entrepreneur | Digital Strategist at Reputiva LLC | Marathoner | Bibliophile -info@lanredahunsi.com | lanre.dahunsi@gmail.com

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