You are Enough.

It might not seem so right now due to all the challenges, trials and tribulations you are going through. Even though you are not married yet, still expecting to conceive, broke, divorced, laid off, failed the exam multiple times, depressed, sad, and you don’t know how everything will align; you are enough. You are wonderfully made, and you have all that is required to unleash the greatness inherent in you. Most of us are so ugly that the only thing we have is beauty; we are so ignorant that the only thing we have is intelligence, and we are so poor that the only thing we have is riches. Enough is being content with what you have, giving gratitude and being at peace with yourself. Most of us feel getting more riches, status, and material possessions would make us happy, but we eventually find out it does not.

When you’re 20 you care what everyone thinks, when you’re 40 you stop caring what everyone thinks, when you’re 60 you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place.

Self-Comparison Culture

When people feel like failures, they’re comparing their own self to an ideal of what a self should be like and then concluding they somehow come up short. It’s our culture that largely (although not entirely) defines who this ideal self is and what it looks like. It assails us with this perfect self that we’re all supposed to want to be like, in films, books, shop windows, newspapers, advertising, on the television and the internet – everywhere it can. Most of us feel pressured, in some way, into living up to this cultural model of perfection.

Our sense of who we actually are turns out to be critically dependent on what we believe others think of us.

It’s not difficult, though, to detect the general model of ideal selfhood that the culture of today has come up with. It’s usually depicted as an extroverted, slim, beautiful, individualistic, optimistic, hardworking, socially aware yet high-self-esteeming global citizen with entrepreneurial guile and a selfie camera. It enjoys thinking it’s in some way unique, that it’s trying to ‘make the world a better place’, and one of the traits it’ll value highly is that of personal authenticity, or ‘being real’. It’ll preach that in order to find happiness and success, you must be ‘true to yourself’ and ‘follow your dreams’. ¹

‘I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.’ – Jim Carrey.

John C. Bogle, the late founder of the Vanguard Mutual Fund Group, shared the following story in his book, Enough: True Measures of Money, Business, and Life by John C. Bogle:

At a party given by a billionaire on Shelter Island, Kurt Vonnegut informs his pal, Joseph Heller, that their host, a hedge fund manager, had made more money in a single day than Heller had earned from his wildly popular novel Catch-22 over its whole history. Heller responds, “Yes, but I have something he will never have . . . enough.

Enough comes from trying things out. It comes from challenging your preconceptions. It comes from having less, trying more, then reducing to find out what is just right. It comes from letting go of your fear of less. It comes from letting go of the false security of more. It also comes from having more, losing it all, and finding out what need really is. Enough is hard work.

In life, we too often allow the illusory to triumph over the real. We focus too much on things and not enough on the intangibles that make things worthwhile; too much on success and not enough on character, without which success is meaningless. Amidst the twenty-first-century pressures for immediate satisfaction and amassing information on demand, we’ve forgotten the enlightened values of the eighteenth century. We let false notions of personal satisfaction blind us to the real sense of calling that gives work meaning for ourselves, our communities, and our society. 1

“ The great game of life is not about money; it is about doing your best to join the battle to build anew ourselves, our communities, our nation, and our world.”

Entrepreneur and coach Adam Roa’s powerful poem “You Are Who You’ve Been Looking ²” is excellent on the value of our worth.

You are who you’ve been looking for
So stop looking for more
Unless you are looking in the mirror
Because it’s about time for you to see clearly
That you are who you’ve been looking for

And that empty feeling you got
That hole in your chest
You only got that feeling
Because you think you are not blessed
With everything you need

You see, we live in a consumerist society
Which means they need you to buy stuff
The easiest way to sell it is to tell you
You’re not enough

So today, I hope I leave you with a direction correction
Away from the flaws you see in your reflection
They aren’t flaws to me, they are simply protection
Against all the doubts you have of your perfection
(You are who you’ve been looking for)

So start today (you are)
Take a good long look in the mirror and say (you are)
I am who I’ve been looking for (you are)
(You are who you’ve been looking for)

You are who you’ve been looking for. So stop looking for more. Unless you are looking in the mirror

Most of us feel inadequate due to constant self-comparison in our social media world of shares, likes, retweets and doom scrolling. We compare our lives to other people’s well-curated timelines containing only the best highlight reels, not their struggles and challenges. No one lives a problem-free life, but with social media, everyone has figured out their lives.

And what we see is studies that show social media is associated with diminished well-being and lower life satisfaction, because people are always looking at other people with better lives.’

Everything you need to be great is already deposited in us; we need to unleash our potential by listening more to our inner voice. We often look at the window (outside, everyone else) instead of in the mirror (inside, inward). We fail to take personal responsibility for our life and decisions; instead, we hope for a miracle and fail to realize that no one is coming to the rescue. If it is going to be, it is up to you.

Meditation

Daily Calm with Tamara Levitt – Kotsu Kotsu

The Joy of Slowing Down: With the sense of urgency in our days, we can forget the importance of being in the moment. The Japanese expression Kotsu Kotsu translates as step by step; it reminds us to slow down and present with steadfast diligence each step of the way. Rather than focusing on the end result, Kotsu Kotsu means giving our full attention. to whatever we are doing.
Like the Zen saying, “Chop wood carry water; when we are chopping wood, we just chop wood; when we are carrying water, we only carry water. We are fully present with each action, each task. Kotsu Kotsu invites us to savour each step, each moment, rather than impatiently waiting for the sunflowers we’ve planted to grow. Kotsu Kotsu encourages us to enjoy carefully digging into the earth and delicately spacing out each seed. It reminds us to take pleasure in watering our garden, watching as the tiny seedlings first sprout out from the soil and marvelling as they grow day by day, bit by bit.

Happiness is not about the trophy, or the finish line. It’s the journey. If you enjoy your journey, you can. – Pharrell William

Daily Jay with Jay Shetty – Self Care
Self-care isn’t just about investing in your comfort. It is also about investing in your growth. Discomfort can also be a valuable tool in helping us meet our needs; self-care isn’t only about what soothes you; sure, relaxation can help you recalibrate but there are times when you need to go in another direction to apply your energy to things that help you grow. To be willing to endure a little discomfort as you engage with the challenge.
You gain self-respect by enduring discomfort, and you experience satisfaction and appreciation from putting effort into something meaningful to you. The pursuit of self-respect is a pursuit of self-care; challenges enhance our experience of comfort.

Podcast