Feel the feel, then take the wheel.

Life will throw different situations, circumstances, trials, and tribulations at us all at some point. It is not a matter of if; it is a matter of when. These challenges can be overwhelming at times and even debilitating. You wonder why this is happening to you, and sometimes, when things want to go wrong, they go wrong concurrently. You lose a parent, lose a job, and get separated + divorced all at a time. The rollercoaster of emotions one goes through when the vicissitudes of life come visiting can be overwhelming and burdensome. The key to navigating life’s inevitable challenges is to “Feel the feel, then take the wheel,” as American media entrepreneur Oprah Winfrey often remarks.

In 1998, Oprah was sued by a group of cattle industry executives for statements she made on her talk show about the beef industry. They blamed her for millions in lost revenue and business. They believed her statements were false and defamatory. Oprah considers the defamatory trial case against her by the Texas beef producers to be one of the most trying times of her life. She eventually triumphed by “Feeling the feel, then take the wheel.”. In her recently released book, Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier, co-written with social scientist Arthur C. Brooks, Oprah describes her experience with the trial and how she navigated that trying period. She writes:

One of the most trying times in my life was when I was literally on trial, back in 1998. You may have heard of it: I was sued by Texas beef producers for saying something about hamburgers. Now, to put this in perspective, I wasn’t on trial for my life. If the verdict hadn’t gone my way, I wouldn’t have had to go to prison. Still, being on trial is a challenging and exhausting experience. It was difficult and stressful, and it’s never a good feeling to be wrongly accused.

It’s a wonderful thing to be able to make yourself content in trying circumstances. It’s as though you have a ledger: yes, in the minus column there might be something difficult or bad or unpleasant, but there’s also a plus column.

In Amarillo, my plus column had kind people who wished me well every morning at the courthouse entrance. And a bed-and-breakfast I delighted in. It was clean. I had a comfortable bed. I could take a hot bath every night. There was pie in the refrigerator. (For me, pie means a lot. Not kidding.) I was able to keep my beloved cocker spaniels, Sophie and Solomon, there. And I was able to keep working, taping the Oprah show every day after five p.m. when court was over.

Despite my circumstances, in that bed-and-breakfast I had everything I needed, including the thing I may have needed most: gratitude. It’s an emotion I highly recommend for anyone who’s going through a trial—any trial life might have in store.

Oprah overcame the wrong accusation trial case by feeling negative emotions, staying poised under trial and tribulations and taking the wheel of her life through gratitude. Having a gratitude practice during the most trying times is a habit that can be extremely hard to cultivate. It is easy to stay grateful when things are going right, but staying grateful when everything is going wrong reflects a person’s character. As American Baptist minister and activist Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of convenience and comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy,” The key to taking the wheel of one’s life is to get better and not bitter, get the message from the mess and learn the lessons and not let the trials and tribulations lessen one in the process.

Being rich and famous does not make one void of trials and tribulations. It is a part of the experience of being human. The key is to navigate the challenges with grace because they will stay in your face if you don’t handle them with grace. Every situation is a phase, and if one allows what one is going through to show prominently on one’s face, it will be hard to think straight to get out of this phase. Everything in life is transient. Don’t let success get into your head, nor let failure get to your heart. When things go wrong, as they often do, don’t go wrong with things.

Meditations

• Daily Calm with Tamara Levitt – In Honour of a Year
• Although life rarely goes the way we plan, regardless of our circumstances, gratitude can change our perspectives and shine the light on what’s good in our lives.

• Daily Jay with Jay Shetty – What’s Working
• As we go through life, it is easy to second-guess ourselves as if there is more we must do or to assume that just because others are doing things differently, we should shift our approach. Before we change things up, we should ask “What is working?” There is always room for improvement but if you are having success with the way things are, meaning you are living in alignment with your values and accomplishing your goals, you don’t necessarily need to change.
• Sometimes, we can get so hooked on levelling up that we can stop appreciating what we have already done, the mountain we’ve already climbed and who we have become. Instead of relentlessly searching for where you need improving, try mindfully taking stock of where you are at. If what you’ve got going is already working, then just keep doing it.
• Daily Trip with Jeff Warren – Balancing, Not Balance.
• There is no perfect way of finding balance, it is like trying to find a unicorn.

Podcast

• Master THIS Skill And You Will Transform Your Life – Ed Mylett Podcast

Languages

• Un chef-d’œuvre dans votre salon ? Envoyé spécial – Français | Netflix Saison 1 Episode 1 L’Agence L’Immobilier de Luxe en Famille
• El choque eléctrico | RTVE Español

“El choque eléctrico” expone cómo se está llevando a cabo el proceso de electrificación del parque automovilístico europeo con la industria asociada al motor de combustión en cierre y las nuevas gigafábricas en plena expansión.

All the best in your quest to get better. Don’t Settle: Live with Passion.