Let It Be.

Before the English rock band the Beatles broke up, they released their twelfth and final studio album titled Let It Be on 8 May 1970 and a documentary film of the same name was also released. One of the tracks on the album was named “Let It Be” which is about letting situations take their natural cause and moving on in life. The track is one of my favourite Beatles tracks of all time, as the message is very inspiring. Life is a roller coaster of ups and downs, frowns and smiles, peaks and valleys. When things go wrong, as they often do, having an attitude of radical acceptance to the impermanence of life is a great skill for building resilience and mental fortitude.

We can’t control a lot of things in life but we can control how we respond. We can control the weather but we can control our clothing, we can’t control people’s behaviour but we can control our response, we can’t control the length of our life but we can control the breadth and depth of it. I like the way leadership author John C. Maxwell puts it:

Whether is dealing with our family, friends, co-workers, strangers or neighbours, the ability to let things take their natural cause is a tough skill to cultivate, but it is essential to living a stress-free life. As Reinhold Neibuhr admonished in the Serenity prayer:

American Author and podcaster Mel Robbins recently shared a concept she recently heard called the “Let Them Theory,” and she shared it with her social media handles, and it went VIRAL with 15 million views, and 11,000 comments. According to Mel:

In a recent podcast episode, The “Let Them Theory”: A Life Changing Mindset Hack That 15 Million People Can’t Stop Talking About, Mel expanded on the Let Them Theory.

The Let Them Theory would allow you to detach yourself from the things that cause a lot of struggle, angst and emotion to come up. It also allows you to let go of the rings to give space and allow room for other people, to take responsibility. When you Let people be, you would realize that you are actually in love with the potential and not actually who the person is. When you let people be who they are, it actually lets you know who you are really dealing with.

Dealing with Grief and the Let Them Theory

I lost my mum in 2019, and it is by far one of the hardest things I have had to deal with. She was still relatively young (55), and she died of cancer. Watching her die through the pain of post-chemotherapy was extremely tough. The way people acted around me during this period of grief was shocking at first, but with time I got used to it. Some friends reached out, and most of the so-called friends kept silent while others said hurtful things like you should not have done chemotherapy; at least she was sick before she died hence the death should not be too painful. It was a painful period, but I learnt a lot about human behaviour and how to deal with people.

As a result of my experience during this grief period and the understanding that came with it. I embraced and realized that people will always be who they are. As the saying goes “We know our friends during adversity, and our friends know us during prosperity”. The Let It Be theory came in handy as time healed the grieving; it enabled me to form a philosophy around people. Author and Poet Maya Angelou once said, “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” Now, when people act in ways that I find not too normal, like not reaching out during a trying time, I try to have empathy for them, cos if they knew better they would do better. I try to protect my peace, let them be what they are, and I focus on being a better version of myself.

You really can’t control how people choose to behave; what you have control over is your response, perspective and outlook on the situation. Letting people be what they choose to be can be hard for someone like me who can be extremely candid with close family and friends. I have learnt with experience that people don’t really care about unrequested feedback nowadays – I just Let It Be. Life is too short to babysit grown adults and dispense your energy on relationships that do not uplift or inspire you to become a better version of yourself.

Meditation

• Daily Calm with Tamara Levitt – Softening Fear.

• During times of change and uncertainty, it is common to experience fear. Our response to fear is what perpetuates it, it is our resistance to fear that magnifies them. When frozen with worry and dread, you are preoccupied with the future. The most helpful thing we can do is to pull ourselves to the present moment, acknowledge our fears and breathe into them.
• As we connect to the present, we recognize that whatever has us afraid is merely a potentiality like a bad dream, In this moment, our feet are planted, heart beating, breath flowing. Here and now, we are safe and as we feel more grounded in the present; our fear softens.

• Daily Jay with Jay Shetty – Prioritize What Matters

• Clear the Deck – Prepare for action, get ready for something substantial by dealing with anything else that might get in the way.
•  Oliver Burkeman – People can spend a lifetime dealing with smaller tasks and never get around to the things they know are most important. We get into the cycle of postponing matters. The little tasks never really end, you need to prioritize what matters most; if you want to be effective and productive as possible. It means becoming more aware of what you are doing and why. It means asking yourself: Is this the right use of my time right now?

Podcast

• Delivering the future in drones with Keller Rinaudo Clifton of Zipline | How I Built This with Guy Raz

All the best in your quest to get better. Don’t Settle: Live with Passion.