“THE OLD MAN SAT DOWN on his favorite bench, settling in with his newspaper for his lunchtime ritual. He was a man of routine and could be found here most any day, enjoying the trees, the children playing, and the sounds of the bustling city around the park.
One day a young man sat down next to him with a paper of his own. The old man moved over a bit to make room, and went back to reading. After a few minutes, however, the new bench partner said, “Excuse me, sir?”
“Yes?” the old man answered, looking up with a friendly smile.
“Would you happen to have the time?” the younger asked.
The old man looked the young man over for a moment, taking in the fact that he was pleasant looking. “No,” he said, then went back to reading his paper.
Puzzled, the younger man could not imagine why the older man would not give him the time, having noticed that he was wearing a watch. So, he asked.
“Umm, excuse me, sir?”
“Yes?” the older one replied.
“I don’t mean to be a pest here, but I am curious about something,” said the younger. “I can’t help but notice that you are wearing a watch. Yet, when I asked you if you had the time, you said no. Have I offended you in some way?”
The old man just looked at him, not saying anything for a moment, but eyeing him up and down. Finally, he said, “No, not at all. You seem to be a nice enough young man.” Then he went back to reading his paper.
This seemed ever more strange to the young man, so he persisted. “Then I don’t understand. Why won’t you give me the time?”
The older one put his paper down.
“Well, when you first sat down, I noticed you. You seemed like a nice enough young man, clean-cut and all. You seemed interested in the world and its current events, as I noticed by the particular paper you were reading. That was impressive. Then you asked me for the time. And I figured if I gave it to “you, we might strike up a conversation. And if we started a conversation, you would probably tell me about yourself, and I would probably like you and we would become friends.”
“And if we became friends, I would see you here again, and we would get to know each other better. Then, I would probably invite you to my house sometime to meet my family. If that happened, you would meet my wonderful daughter whom I love very much. With you being such a nice young man, she would probably like you. And, as beautiful and wonderful as she is, you would probably like her too. So, the two of you would probably get to be friends, and go out on a date. And if that happened, chances are you would fall in love and get married. And I’ll be hanged if I am going to allow my daughter to marry any man who doesn’t own a watch!”
“Déjà vu people rarely take any action without considering its future implications. Tell a man the time and you might just end up marrying off your daughter to a guy who doesn’t own a watch. Life is a slippery slope!”
The above dialogue is from Henry Cloud’s book, 9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life. It shows the power of every tiny choice we make in life can lead and often lead to bigger consequences. Actions do have consequences, life is ultimately about trade-offs. Say yes to one thing and you are invariably saying to another. Spend your time scrolling mindlessly on social media and you are invariably not working on your goals, dreams and aspirations.
Be mindful of how and with whom you spend your time and limited bandwidth because it will ultimately catch up with you. Play the movie in your head before making a choice.
Playing the movie means never to see any individual action as a singular thing in and of itself:
Any one thing you do is only a scene in a larger movie. To understand that action, you have to play it out all the way to the end of the movie.”
All the best in your quest to get better. Don’t Settle: Live with Passion.
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