Musings Archives | Page 19 of 20

Push Your Limits.

June 25, 2023 In Musings 6 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

Argue for your limitations and you get to keep them.

American industrialist and business magnate Henry Ford once said “Whether you think you can, or you think you can‘t–you’re right.” We set limits on our abilities both imaginary and psychological but the reality is that we can all surprise ourselves by what we can accomplish if we set our mind to it. As Napoleon Hill noted in his classic book, “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.”

“The tragedy of life is often not in our failure, but rather in our complacency; not in our doing too much, but rather in our doing too little; not in our living above our ability, but rather in our living below our capacities.” – Benjamin E. Mays

Create a Time Budget.

June 24, 2023 In Musings 3 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

The most egalitarian resource in the world is time; we are all allocated the same amount daily. We have 24 hours a day, 168 hours a week, 720 hours a month, and 8760 hours a year. Time is the most significant lever, you can make more money, but you cannot make more time. When we want to spend our money diligently, we create a spending budget, but we rarely do the same thing with our time. Most of us are not deliberate with how we spend our time; we mindlessly doom scroll social media, gossip about other people and events all day long, spend time with time wasters and entertain ourselves unconsciously without paying attention to the brevity of our time here.

The life expectancy in most developed nations is around 78-80 years, around 10,000. We sleep 1/3rd of our lives and work plus commute takes another 2/3rd. Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates once said: “Most people overestimate what they can achieve in a year and underestimate what they can achieve in ten years.” We live in Someday Isle, postponing living until we figure it out, but the challenge is that no one has it figured out yet; everyone is winging it. How you spend your time truly reflects your values and priorities. It would help to re-evaluate your priorities, values and commitments to create an effective time budget.

The Power of Goal Stacking.

June 23, 2023 In Musings 6 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

I am now averaging 80-90 hours of exercise every month, 3 hours per day and 1/8th of a typical month is spent working out. How have I done it and consistently showed up to the gym daily? The secret is goal stacking. My daily exercise routine includes shooting basketball, swimming, running, weightlifting, pickleball, and outdoor cycling. Thanks to the power of goal/habit stacking, here is a breakdown of my training stats from Strava:

2023 so far: 453 Hours | 1434.9 Kilometers covered | 140 personal best | 525 activities
January (| 31 DAYS | 83 Hours | 327 kilometers | 2 Personal Records | 119 Activities)
February ( 28 DAYS | 66 Hours | 191 Kilometers | 4 Personal Records | 91 Activities)
March ( 31 DAYS | 94 Hours | 223 kilometers | 1 Personal Records | 111 Activities)
April (30 DAYS | 90 Hours | 157 Kilometers | 1 Personal Records | 91 Activities)
May ( 31 DAYS | 48 Hours | 265 Kilometers | 62 Personal Records | 45 Activities)
June ( 30 DAYS | 72 Hours | 272 Kilometers | 70 Personal Records | 68 Activities)

If you notice, in May 2023, the number of hours I spent in the gym reduced; that is as a result of my participating in four full 42.2KM Marathons (Toronto, Ontario Marathon, Stewart McKelvey Fredericton Marathon, New Brunswick, Emera Blue Nose Marathon, Halifax, Nova Scotia, and the Servus Credit Union Calgary Marathon, Albert, Calgary) and I also broke 62 personal records in May (so proud of moi).

Goal Stacking involves achieving two goals at the same time. Here is how I goal-stack daily:

Shoot Basketball and listen to audiobooks (I average 2-3 books per week)
Swim and listen to French books (I average 7-10 hours of French study time in the pool)
Run and listen to podcasts ( I listen to one podcast daily – 365 Podcast Listening Challenge)
Weightlift and listen to audiobooks.
Cycling and listening to audiobooks/music.

You are Worthy.

June 22, 2023 In Musings 6 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

Worth is the value of something measured by its qualities or by the esteem in which it is held. ¹ You are not your mistake, failed marriage, lost job, failed exam, or your material possessions. The value you place on yourself determines how others treat you, just like the dollar bill is always worth a dollar no matter what you do to it: rumple it, step on it, tear it, still a dollar. Why? Because the marketplace and the society agreed to accept it as legal tender no matter what. High self-worth boosts your self-confidence and self-esteem; you tell people how to treat you by the worth you place on yourself.

Most of us live an “If then” life, if I succeed, get rich, have cars…then I will be happy. We attach our self-worth to our worldly attachment and self-identity with them. When we lose these possessions or accolades, it often affects our self-esteem and self-confidence. In his 2005 interview with Jay Stone, Canadian actor and comedian Jim Carrey made the following observations – earlier in his career, he believed that making just one more film, getting one more hit, would be enough, but he got tired of being emotionally disappointed.

“You just go like, ‘Yeah, it was a fantastic hit, but what now?’” Carrey’s advice: “I think everybody should get rich and famous and everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that that’s not the answer.”

Have a Sense of Urgency.

June 21, 2023 In Musings 7 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

I lost my mum to cancer in 2019, and it is one of the hardest things I have had to deal with. She gave me two vital gifts before she left: the gift of life and the paradigm shift of living like every day could be your last. Mum was healthy before the diagnosis and was gone in less than ten months. Losing my mum at 55 was tough, as she was on the verge of reaping from the seeds she had sown in her children, business and life in general. Since losing her in 2019, I have had a different outlook on life, and as a result I strive to make every day a masterpiece. As the saying goes, yesterday is history; tomorrow is a mystery; today is a gift; that is why it is called the present.

Yesterday is history; tomorrow is a mystery; today is a gift; that is why it is called the present.

My mum used to say, “We might think our life would be short and it would be long; we might think it would be long and it would be short.” This was one of her favourite sayings, and at the time, I did not understand that statement, but now I do. It can be tough living in the moment as many things are fighting for our attention, such as work, recreation, and living up to our responsibilities. The challenge for most of us is that we delay living our lives and constantly live in tomorrow. We say things like someday I will start a business when I have enough money, go on vacation when the kids leave the house, someday I will write a book when I have read enough books, and I am more established. We live an “If then” life – if this happens, I will do that. We don’t have convictions; hence we vacillate from one idea to another.

There are no Guarantees.

June 20, 2023 In Musings 6 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

The are no guarantees in life. You might put in the work in a relationship but break up is still a possibility; you might go to the gym daily, and the biceps doesn’t show up according to your timeline; you might start a business venture, and you don’t get traction, you might train hard for a marathon, and you get a deep muscle pull in the race. Whenever you stretch yourself by aiming higher than you did in the past, the guarantees for success become lower as you strive to achieve your goals. Like in a marathon race, the farther you go, the lesser the applause from the crowd. When the going gets tough, you know your true strength; it is easy to get fired up when the applause is high from the world, but the real test is how you navigate the trying times.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. – Martin Luther King, Jr.

As Martina McBride sang in her song “Do It Anyway.”

You can spend your whole life building
Something from nothin’
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway
You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not never come your way
Dream it anyway

The Platinum Rule: Treat others as they want to be treated.

June 19, 2023 In Musings 4 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

The Golden Rule: Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you.

The Golden Rule states that you treat others as you want them to be treated. The rule has various forms in most religions and creeds around the world. The Platinum Rule states that Treat others as they want to be treated. Dealing with people and managing relationships with family and friends can be tricky, especially when we don’t follow the golden rule.

The Platinum Rule: Treat others as they want to be treated.

The Golden Rule seems to be very straightforward for living a peaceful life. The simplicity of the rule makes it even harder to implement, as common sense is usually not common. We live in a world where we complicate everything; I am of the opinion that if we all followed the golden rule, the world would be a better place.

Dreams are expensive.

June 18, 2023 In Musings 7 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Your dreams are valid but it is also expensive to dream. “The price of greatness is responsibility” former British prime minister, Winston Churchill once quipped. The bigger the dream, the bigger the price you would have to pay to achieve your dreams and aspirations. You are going to be violently opposed by your family, friends, and allies but a few might get it but the more you continue to dream; the opposition gets bigger. If you cannot pay the price, you cannot win the prize. The moment you decide to follow your most audacious dreams, people would project their fears and insecurities toward you and your aspirations. The self-doubts begin to crip in especially when the projections come from well-meaning family and friends.

Doubt Me If You Can.

June 17, 2023 In Musings 4 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

Our greatest doubters before achieving any goal and dreams are usually the closest people to us such as our family, friends, acquaintances, caregivers, teachers, etc. The doubting starts from childhood when well-meaning family and friends begin to project their fears and insecurities into us by saying things like You cannot do that, it is impossible, people like us cannot do things like that, etc. That early programming and indoctrination sows the seed of our self-doubt early in life and ultimately becomes ingrained in us by adulthood. We settle for less than we are meant to be instead of aiming high, we aim low, instead dreaming, we settle for a life of mediocrity living in quiet desperation, tip-toeing throughout our short existence here on earth.

What it Takes.

June 16, 2023 In Musings 7 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

“Success is peace of mind that is the direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.” – John Wooden

Success is never an accident, and failure is usually not a coincidence. As author Jim Rohn put it,

“Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day; while failure is simply a few errors in judgment, repeated every day. It is the accumulative weight of our disciplines and our judgments that leads us to either fortune or failure. Failure is not a single, cataclysmic event. We do not fail overnight. Failure is the inevitable result of an accumulation of poor thinking and poor choices.”

To be successful, you don’t have to do extraordinary things, just do ordinary things extraordinarily well. You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great. The road to becoming successful in any endeavour takes a lot of grinding, grit, perseverance, persistence and hard work. Overnight success usually takes 10+ years of drills, workouts, pitch, reps, laps, sessions, roadwork, training, practice, preparation, routine and regimen. As the saying goes, “We play the way we train”. You cannot take people farther than you have gone; garbage in – garbage out.

If you work hard, what is hard would work but if your take shortcuts, you would be cut short.

Become a lighthouse.

June 15, 2023 In Musings 8 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

A lighthouse is a tower, building, or other type of physical structure designed to emit light from a system of lamps and lenses and to serve as a beacon for navigational aid for maritime pilots at sea or on inland waterways. ¹ We all realize at some point that we cannot change people unless they are ready to change themselves. You can recommend all the books, your routine, regimen, and personal development hacks and tricks, but until they are ready to change it won’t work. Most of us get into romantic relationships to change our partner, not realizing that people change when they are ready and at their own pace. Leadership is a verb, not a noun; change yourself first to change people.

Take care of yourself.

June 14, 2023 In Musings 6 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

As the saying goes, “You cannot give what you do not have”, if you don’t take care of yourself, you ultimately cannot take care of anyone else. When you fly on an airplane, the flight attendant instructs the passengers to “Put on your oxygen mask before trying to help others,” even your child. The instruction is a great analogy for life and a strategy for navigating relationships with family and friends. Some of us are pathologically altruistic, dealing with a messiah complex, empathetic to a fault, and always giving to others without considering ourselves. This issue can be caused as a result of many reasons, such as family upbrings, societal and religious indoctrination, and birth order, among others.

Taking care of yourself and putting yourself first can somewhat be viewed as selfish but if you empty your tank by caretaking everyone else and not caring for yourself, it usually does not end well. You need to, at some point set healthy boundaries for yourself and others, be self-compassionate and kind in the process. Here are some strategies for caring for yourself.

The Man in the Arena: You are on the court; they are in the stands.

June 13, 2023 In Musings 5 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

When you’re 20, you care what everyone thinks, when you’re 40 you stop caring what everyone thinks, when you’re 60, you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place.

Author, Podcaster and presenter of the Daily Jay Calm App meditation session Jay Shetty recently shared his conversation with fellow author and podcaster Mel Robbins on how to deal with judgement and criticism of others. Robbins stated, ” You are on the court; they are in the stand.” I found that statement very true, especially in our social media external validation-seeking world, where we constantly compare ourselves with others’ carefully curated highlight reels. We all receive opinions, feedback and advice from family, friends, frenemies, coworkers, strangers, acquaintances and social media followers.

Hope is not a plan.

June 12, 2023 In Musings 5 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

“You can map out a fight plan or a life plan, but when the action starts, it may not go the way you planned, and you’re down to your reflexes – that means your [preparation:]. That’s where your roadwork shows. If you cheated on that in the dark of the morning, well, you’re going to get found out now, under the bright lights.” ― Joe Frazier, undisputed heavyweight champion

Former New York Mayor during the September 11, 2001, terrorist attack, Rudy Giuliani, once said, “Change is not a destination, just as hope is not a strategy.” If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Prior Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performances. The value of planning in executing any idea can not be overemphasized. As the French proverb says: “GOD loves the sailor, but he has to sail himself.” Hope is also essential; “Man can live 40 days without food, three days without water, eight minutes without air, but only one second without hope.” American military leader General Douglas MacArthur quipped, “You are as young as your hope, as old as your despair.“

Watch your feet: Lessons from George Lucas and Mellody Hobson on weathering the storm.

June 11, 2023 In Musings 7 Mins Read By Lanre Dahunsi

“In a snowstorm, when you’re trying to get from one place to another place, you never look up at the storm. You watch your feet. If you look up at the storm you will fall.’

It was May 2008, and the stock market in the U.S. was in free fall. Crashing home prices were starting to tank the economy. There was talk of a banking crisis. Investors everywhere were scared. Mellody Hobson was the president of Ariel Investments, the largest minority-owned investment firm in the U.S., managing the pensions and retirement funds for thousands of people. Ariel was founded by John Rogers Jr., with about $11 billion of assets under management (AUM) and with pressure from institutional investors, Rogers Jr. and Hubson were feeling the heat as clients kept firing Ariel every day by moving their money.

When the phone clicked off and the news settled in, Rogers, 50, who had been managing Ariel since founding it at the age of 24, burst into tears. Mellody, who had worked with Rogers for 17 years and had never seen such a reaction from him, cried as well. After a long beat, the wounded Rogers placed the blame on himself, even telling Mellody he felt it was his fault because he picked the stocks. ¹