Mono no aware is a Japanese term for the awareness of impermanence (mujō 無常), or transience of things, and both a transient gentle sadness (or wistfulness) at their passing as well as a longer, deeper gentle sadness about this state being the reality of life. Impermanence is the philosophical problem of change. In Buddhism, the three marks of existence are 3 characteristics of all existence and being namely: Impermanence (anicca), non-self (anatta), and unsatisfactoriness or suffering (dukkha).
When the heart weeps for what it has lost, the soul laughs for what it has found. ~ Sufi aphorism
The Greek philosopher Heraclitus shared the same sentiment that nothing in this world is constant except change and becoming (Everything is impermanent).
Kaizen (改善) is a Japanese word that has two components – Kai 改(Change) and Zen 善 (Good) which translates to “Good Change”, “Change for the Better” or “Continuous Improvement.” It involves making changes for the better, small incremental changes that eventually amounts to extraordinary progress and result. In a business context, Kaizen refers to activities that continuously improve all functions and it usually involves everyone in the organizational value-chain from the CEO to the assembly line workers.
Kaizen was first implemented in Japanese factories and businesses after World War II. It was greatly influenced by American business and quality-management consultants like W. Edwards Deming who worked with Japanese industry leaders after world war II. It is one of the guiding principles of the Toyota Way. Other prominent Kaizen pioneers include Shigeo Shingo (Toyota Production System) and Masaaki Imai (Founder of Kaizen Institute).
The Toyota Way is a set of principles and behaviors that underlie the Toyota Motor Corporation’s managerial approach and production system. In 2001, the Toyota Corporation published some set of guidelines and principles to clarify its values and business methods. The document was called “Toyota Way 2001“. It consists of two main pillars: “Continuous Improvement” and “Respect for People”. The Toyota Way further sub-divided continuous improvement into 3 sub-pillars: Challenge, Kaizen and Genchi Genbutsu (現地現物) which translates to “go and See”.
Kaizen is mostly associated with manufacturing processes such as the one popularised in the Toyota Production System Originally called “just-in-time production” and it has also been used in other non-manufacturing environments/industries such as Healthcare, Information Technology, PsychoTherapy, Government, Banking, Supply Chain Management, etc.
Bibliotherapy (also referred to as book therapy, poetry therapy, or therapeutic storytelling) is a creative arts therapies modality that involves storytelling or reading specific texts with the purpose of healing.
I recently stumbled on the concept of bibliotherapy while I was reading David Burns Book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. Burns referenced five studies in which researchers studied the effects of reading a good self-help book without any other form of therapy. He wrote:
According to Dr. Martha Stout in her thought-provoking book, The Sociopath Next Door: “About one in twenty-five individuals are sociopathic, meaning, essentially, that they do not have a conscience.” The Sociopaths are roaming among us and they do not have a label on their head saying they are sociopaths. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, spouse, child, parents, siblings, lovers, or even you.
4 percent of ordinary people—one in twenty-five—has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse.
Martha Stout’s 13 Rules for Dealing with Sociopaths in Everyday Life
Until you are broken you don’t know what you’re made of.—Ziad K. Abdelnour
Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise. It is similar to the Japanese philosophy of wabi-sabi, an embracing of the flawed or imperfect.
“Multitasking is merely the opportunity to screw up more than one thing at a time.” -Steve Uzze
Multitasking is our tendency to split our attention on more than one task or activity at the same time. It is a concept emanating from the computing world -the execution by a computer of more than one program or task simultaneously. Multitasking is a great lie we all tell ourselves, we feel we can juggle 5 things at the same time, hence we open 50 browser tabs, listen to music while surfing the internet, at the same time vacuuming, etc but the challenge is that we do not get much done because of this divided attention. Our brain is not wired to do multiple things at the same time.
It is only possible to do two things at a time if they require different cognitive capacities like reading a book & listening to music, driving, and talking on the phone (handsfree). We live in a society where multitasking is seen as a superpower – you see it in job descriptions, productivity experts encourage it, social media enables it and we groom our kids to be natural multitaskers. While multitasking, it seems like we are getting a lot done but in reality, it leads to reduced productivity and ultimately anxiety.
“If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it.” – Anthony J. D’Angelo
There is a great story about the howling dog:
There is a story of an old man and his dog sitting on the porch. It’s hot outside. The old man is sipping on his lemonade, and the dog is sitting next to him, howling in pain.
The neighbor across the street hears the dog howling for several minutes, and his curiosity gets the best of him, so he approaches the old man.
He asks the old man, “Why is your dog howling in pain?”
The old man responds by saying: The dog is sitting on a nail.”
Perplexed, the neighbor asks, “Why doesn’t he get away from the nail?”
The old man takes another sip of lemonade before replying and says – That is because he doesn’t find it painful enough yet.”
If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain. – Maya Angelou
“It is not enough to be busy. So are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?” – Henry David Thoreau
The Big Rock Theory is a productivity concept popularized by author Dr. Stephen R. Covey. In his book First things First, Covey stated that the key to getting things done is not to prioritize your schedule but to schedule your priorities.
To live a more balanced existence, you have to recognize that not doing everything that comes along is okay. There’s no need to overextend yourself. All it takes is realizing that it’s all right to say no when necessary and then focus on your highest priorities.
“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.” – Vivian Greene
Life is not a bed of roses; it is a roller coaster of challenges, sometimes you are up, and other times you are down. You are either heading into a storm, going through a storm, or coming out of a storm. The storms in our life come in different shapes and forms- Job Loss, infertility, self-destructive addictions, depression, poverty, death, accident, health issues, domestic violence, emotional and physical abuse, childhood trauma, personality disorder, etc. It is not a matter of if; it is a matter of when. As British writer Vivian Greene once quipped, “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain. Whatever would go wrong would go wrong (Murphy’s Law). The key to navigating the roller coaster of life is never letting success get into your head and never let your failures get to your heart.
The Valley of despair is a point we get to in a project, endeavor in life, in which we get bogged down or stressed due to our inability to achieve our goals yet. American Author and motivational speaker Jim Rohn called these periods the winter of life a metaphor for the valley of despair or the tough times. Anyone who has started a new project, be it a blog, new business, workout regimen, or any new challenge, can relate to the valley of despair.
We live in a hyperconnected, always available, instant everything world. From social media to our email notifications, the internet has amplified our collective level of distraction and inability to focus on a task for a long time. Multitasking is one of our favorite words, but we are busy doing nothing. You can make more money, but you can not make more time. We all get the same amount of time daily, the billionaire and the poor; how we use it is what makes all the difference. Once we use our time, it is gone forever; it is always ticking, moving. The ability to guard and use your time effectively is crucial in navigating the roller coaster of life.
“The best approach to dealing with these interruptions is to accept them and treat them in a gentle way.”
One of the best time management tools that I have found to be very helpful is the Pomodoro Technique developed by Francesco Cirillo, which he developed in 1987 as a time management hack for passing his sociology exam in college.
The Pomodoro Technique is a time management method developed by Francesco Cirillo in the late 1980s. The technique uses a timer to break down work into intervals, traditionally 25 minutes in length, separated by short breaks. Each interval is known as a Pomodoro, from the Italian word for ‘tomato’, after the tomato-shaped kitchen timer that Cirillo used as a university student.
The Pomodoro Technique was created with the aim of using time as a valuable ally to accomplish what we want to do the way we want to do it and to empower us to improve our work or study progress continuously.
Enhance focus and concentration by cutting down on interruptions
Increase awareness of one’s decisions
Boost motivation and keep it constant
Bolster the determination to achieve one’s goals
Refine the estimation process in both qualitative and quantitative terms
Improve one’s work or study process
Strengthen one’s determination to keep applying oneself in complex situations
The Stages of the Pomodoro Technique
The process underlying the Pomodoro Technique consists of five stages:
To implement the Pomodoro Technique, all you need is the following:
A Pomodoro: a kitchen timer
A To Do Today Sheet filled in at the start of each day with the following:
A heading with place, date, and author.
A list of the things to do during the day in order of priority.
A section labeled “Unplanned & Urgent Activities” in which any unexpected tasks that have to be dealt with should be listed as they come up. These activities could modify the day’s plan.
An Activity Inventory Sheet consisting of the following: A heading with the name of the author. A number of lines in which various activities are written down as they come up. At the end of the day, the ones that have been completed are checked off. A Records Sheet. This is the set of raw data needed to produce pertinent reports and graphics. Depending on the objectives, this contains different sets of boxes. Normally, this sheet would include the date, the description, and the number of Pomodoros of effort needed to accomplish a task. This sheet is updated at least once a day, usually at the end of the day. How the Pomodoro Technique Works
OBJECTIVE I:
FIND OUT HOW MUCH EFFORT AN ACTIVITY REQUIRES
The traditional Pomodoro is 30 minutes long: 25 minutes of work plus a 5-minute break. At the beginning of each day, choose the tasks you want to tackle from the Activity Inventory Sheet, prioritize them, and write them down in the To Do Today Sheet.
START THE FIRST POMODORO
Set the Pomodoro for 25 minutes and start the first activity on the To Do Today Sheet. Whoever is using the Pomodoro, whether one person or more, should always be able to see clearly how much time is left.
A Pomodoro can’t be interrupted: It marks 25 minutes of pure work. A Pomodoro can’t be split up: There is no such thing as half a Pomodoro or a quarter of a Pomodoro. The atomic unit of time is a Pomodoro. (Rule: A Pomodoro is indivisible.) If a Pomodoro is interrupted by someone or something, that Pomodoro should be considered void, as if it had never been set; then you should make a fresh start with a new Pomodoro.
When the Pomodoro rings, mark an “X” next to the activity you’ve been working on and take a break for 3 to 5 minutes. When the Pomodoro rings, this signals that the current activity is definitely (though temporarily) finished. You’re not allowed to keep on working “for just a few more minutes” even if you’re convinced that in those few minutes you could complete the task at hand.
The 3- to 5-minute break gives you the time you need to disconnect from your work. This allows your mind to assimilate what’s been learned in the last 25 minutes and also gives you a chance to do something good for your health, which will help you do your best during the next Pomodoro. During this break you can stand up and walk around the room, have a drink of water, or fantasize about where you’ll go on your next vacation. You can do deep breathing or stretching exercises. If you work with other people, you can swap a joke or two.
EVERY FOUR POMODOROS
Every four Pomodoros, stop the activity you’re working on and take a longer break, from 15 to 30 minutes.
The 15- to 30-minute break provides an ideal opportunity to tidy your desk, take a trip to the coffee machine, listen to voice mail, check incoming e-mails, or simply rest and do breathing exercises or take a walk. The important thing is not to do anything complex; otherwise your mind won’t be able to reorganize and integrate what you’ve learned, and as a result you won’t be able to give the next Pomodoro your best effort. Obviously, during this break you need to stop thinking about what you did during the last Pomodoros.
COMPLETING AN ACTIVITY
Keep on working, Pomodoro after Pomodoro, until the task is finished and then cross it out on the To Do Today Sheet
Once the current activity has been completed, move on to the next one on the list and then the next, taking breaks after every Pomodoro and every four Pomodoros.
As pomodoros are completed, they are recorded, adding to a sense of accomplishment and providing raw data for subsequent self-observation and improvement.
Recording
With the Pomodoro Technique, it’s not essential to track the start time for an activity (or for every Pomodoro). What’s important is to track the number of Pomodoros actually completed: the real effort. This point is the key to understanding the Pomodoro Technique. Since tracking is done at least once a day, remembering and reconstructing the start times for activities isn’t difficult; in fact, this kind of recall is a beneficial mental exercise.
A useful technique for remembering start times is to do a rundown of the day beginning with the most recent activity and moving backward to the first one.
A useful technique for remembering start times is to do a rundown of the day beginning with the most recent activity and moving backward to the first one.
The Drama Triangle is a model of human interaction that maps a type of destructive interaction that can occur among people in conflict.
The Karpman drama triangle was developed by psychiatrist and Transactional Analysis teacher Dr. Stephen B. Karpma. He was a student of Canadian-born psychiatrist Eric Berne, M.D., the creator of transactional analysis psychology and author of Games People Play. The Drama Triangle is a model of human interaction that maps a type of destructive interaction that can occur among people in conflict.
The triangle of actors in the drama are persecutors, victims, and rescuers.
“I have two kinds of problems, the urgent and the important. The urgent are not important, and the important are never urgent.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower
Dwight D. Eisenhower was the 34th president of the United States from 1953 to 1961. Prior to becoming president, Eisenhower was a five-star General of the United States Army. He served as the Supreme Commander of the Allied Expeditionary Force in Europe during World War II and he was also responsible for planning and supervising the invasion of North Africa (Operation Torch) and Germany (Battle of Normandy).
As president, Eisenhower launched programs and initiatives that led to the development and execution of projects such as the Interstate Highway System in the United States, NASA’s exploration of space, the Atomic Energy Act, DARPA which led to the launch of the Internet. Eisenhower was a productive man who served as the Army Chief of Staff (1945–1948), as president of Columbia University (1948–1953), and as the first Supreme Commander of NATO (1951–1952) before becoming the president of the United States from 1953 to 1961. He also had time for golfing, oil painting, poker, and reading.
In a 1954 speech addressed to the Second Assembly of the World Council of Churches, at the campus of Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois. Einsenhower said:
Now, my friends of this convocation, there is another thing we can hope to learn from your being with us. I illustrate it by quoting the statement of a former college president, and I can understand the reason for his speaking as he did. I am sure President Miller can.
This President said, “I have two kinds of problems, the urgent and the important. The urgent are not important, and the important are never urgent.”
Now this, I think, represents a dilemma of modern man. Your being here can help place the important before us, and perhaps even give the important the touch of urgency. And you can strengthen our faith that men of goodwill, working together, can solve the problems confronting them.
The Eisenhower Matrix was popularized by Author Stephen R.Covey in his book, First Things First and Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. In his books, Covey describes a time management framework for prioritizing work that is aimed at long-term goals, at the expense of tasks that appear to be urgent, but are in fact less important. In First Things First, Covey argues that they are three generations of time-management: first-generation task lists, second-generation personal organizers with deadlines, and third-generation values clarification as incorporated in the Franklin Planner.
By using the Eisenhower Decision Principle, every task is evaluated using the criteria important/unimportant and urgent/not urgent, and then placed in according quadrants in an Eisenhower Matrix. The 2×2 matrix classifies tasks as urgent and non-urgent on one axis, and important or non-important on the other axis.
The tasks in the quadrants are then handled as follows.
Important/Urgent quadrant tasks are done immediately and personally e.g. finishing a client project, Picking up your sick kid from school, crises, deadlines.
Important/Not Urgent quadrant tasks are activities that get you closer to your goals but without a set deadline e.g. personal development, relationships, exercising, planning, recreation
Unimportant/Urgent quadrant tasks are delegated, e.g. interruptions, responding to some emails meetings, activities.
Unimportant/Not Urgent quadrant tasks are eliminated e.g. time wasters, watching TV, eating junk food pleasant activities, trivia.
Using the Eisenhower Matrix
“The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.” —Lin Yutang.
As Henry David Thoreau once quipped, “It is not enough to be busy. So are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?”. Thoreau was right; most of us stay on our social media timelines endlessly scrolling and marinating ourselves with other people’s carefully curated capsules of their lives. We equate motion for movement, activity for accomplishment, busyness for progress; hence we do not know the difference between urgent and important tasks.
Knowing how to distinguish what is important from the urgent is not the easiest for many of us because we do not have our priorities right. We pick up every phone call, check our emails every 15 minutes, pick up our phones continuously for the dopamine rush derived from the notifications on our phone; we get busy instead of getting important things done. The key to using the Eisenhower Matrix effectively is to know and re-order your priorities.
Your time here on earth is minimal; using your time effectively is what makes the difference between the successful and unsuccessful, the rich and the poor, the intelligent and the ignorant, etc. The key is to know what is really important at every moment, whether to do, schedule, delegate, or eliminate a task from your itinerary.
All the Best in your quest to get Better. Don’t Settle: Live with Passion.
The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non–essentials. – Lin Yutang
The Pareto Principle (also known as the 80/20 rule, law of the vital few), named after Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto who noted that 80% of consequences comes from 20% of the causes (the “vital few). Pareto made the observation at the University of Lausanne in 1896. In his first work Cours d’économie politique, he showed that approximately 80% of the land in Italy was owned by 20% of the population. The top 20% of the population had 80% of the wealth in Italy.
The Pareto Principle, states that 20 percent of the things you do account for 80 percent of the value of what you accomplish. This means that 80 percent of what you do is worth 20 percent or less of the value of what you accomplish.
“You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” – Marcus Aurelius
It is not a matter of If; It is a matter of when. We are all going to DIE, sooner or later. Contemplating your eventual mortality is one of the greatest grounding mechanisms I have found to reorder my priorities daily. In the face of death, we focus on the important things in life. Memento Mori is Latin for ‘remember that you have to DIE,’ it is an artistic or symbolic reminder of the inevitability of death. Our time here is limited, life is short, but we can make the best use of our time here by constantly reminding ourselves of its inevitability.
“The trouble is, you think you have time.” – Buddha
The average life expectancy in the developed world is around 80+ years which is around 30,000 days. If we sleep 8 hours a day, that means we would sleep 1/3rd of our life: 10,000 days, work and commuting would be around 3,500 days. Work and sleep alone would take close to half of our lifetime. The challenge is that we all think we still have time, we procrastinate, and we tell ourselves ‘Someday I’ll,” and the someday turns to never.
Social Psychologist Irving Janis coined the term groupthink, which happens when in-group pressures lead to a deterioration in mental efficiency, poor testing of reality, and lax moral judgment (Janis, 1982).
Groupthink is a psychological phenomenon that occurs within a group of people. The desire for harmony or conformity in the group results in an irrational or dysfunctional decision-making outcome.
It tends to occur in highly cohesive groups in which the group members’ desire for consensus becomes more important than evaluating problems and solutions realistically. In his 1972 Book, Victims of Groupthink, Janis expounded his theory of groupthink using the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941 and the Bay of Pigs disaster (the failed invasion of Castro’s Cuba in 1961) as case studies.
Janis writes:
“I use the term ‘groupthink’ as a quick and easy way to refer to a mode of thinking that people engage in when they are deeply involved in a cohesive in-group, when the members’ strivings for unanimity over-ride their motivation to realistically appraise alternative courses of action. Groupthink is a term of the same order as the words in the Newspeak vocabulary George Orwell presents in his dismaying 1984 – a vocabulary with terms such as ‘doublethink’ and ‘crimethink’. By putting groupthink with those Orwellian words, I realise that groupthink takes on an Orwellian connotation. The invidiousness is intentional: groupthink refers to a deterioration of mental efficiency, reality testing and moral judgment.
“You might as well eat shit, fifty billion flies can’t be wrong.”
