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regret-quotes

On Regrets.

In Insight 12 Mins Read By

Fear not that thy life shall come to an end, but rather that it shall never have a beginning. – John Henry Newman

Regret is the emotion of wishing one had made a different decision in the past because the consequences of the decision were unfavorable. Regret is a negative emotion predicated on an upward, self-focus, counterfactual inference. (Gilovich and Medec 1995). Regret can also be defined as a negative, cognitively based emotion that we experience when realizing or imagining that our present situation would have been better had we acted differently (Zeelenberg 2010).

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On Gaslighting.

In Insight 12 Mins Read By

Most of us cannot fantom why anyone would be manipulative, deceptive, cunning, rude, or evil. But the reality of life is that there are more evil people in the world than we can imagine. People with personality disorders such as Narcissistic personality disorder, Borderline personality disorder, people living below the veil of consciousness. We have roaming among us on the street, offices, homes, clubs, religious gatherings – sociopaths, narcissists, psychopaths, pathological liars, pedophiles, perverts, etc.

As clinical psychologist Martha Stout, Ph.D. noted in her book, The Sociopath Next Door: The Ruthless Versus the Rest of Us:

A shocking 4 percent of ordinary people—one in twenty-five—has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even your family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt.

“4 percent of the general population has antisocial personality disorder (ASPD, sociopathy, or psychopathy).”

Most of the challenges we face in life are a result of interpersonal relationship issues. We tend to think that everyone is somewhat rational but unfortunately most of us are not. One of the favorite manipulative tool of evil and devious people is Gaslighting their victims.

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The Ant Philosophy by Jim Rohn.

In Insight 3 Mins Read By

“I’ve decided that enterprise is better than ease. If you rest too long, the weeds take over the garden in the summer. Life doesn’t stand still, and random negativity will start overwhelming the positive arrangements of life if you just let things go. So we’ve all got to have a positive attitude about activity.”

An ancient phrase states, “Whatever your hands find to do, do it with all your might.” That’s a powerful philosophy. Many people are getting by with using half their might.

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On Faith.

In Insight 5 Mins Read By

“The road to success is not straight, there is a curve called failure, a loop called confusion, speed bumps called friends, red lights called enemies, caution lights called family. But if you have a spare called determination, an engine called perseverance, insurance called faith, a driver called your conscience, you will make it to a place called success.” – T.E. BOYD

Faith is derived from the Latin Fides and old french feid which means confidence or trust in a person, thing, or concept. It is easy to have faith when things are going great, the real test of your faith comes during the hard times, tribulations, pain, and trying times. As American Baptist Minister and activist Martin Luther King Jr. once said “Faith is taking the first step, even when you don’t see the whole staircase.

Faith comes in different forms, you can have faith in someone, a religious deity, yourself, the universe, and other people. Faith is believing that your business would get traction with time, even though you can see the signs right now, it is believing you would be fine, no matter what, betting on yourself and your ability. Italian Philosopher and Theologian Thomas Aquinas once quipped “To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible.

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boundaries

On Boundaries.

In Insight 15 Mins Read By

Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me.

We get what we tolerate in life, it is that simple. If you allow people to treat you unfairly because they are your family, parent, spouse, boss, or friend, the issue is not with them; it is with you. You need to set and communicate healthy boundaries with people or else they would continue to treat you in a way you do not appreciate.

Most of us think that boundaries should be common sense but it is not. Your job is to communicate with people what you would allow and what you would not allow. Your job is also to enforce the consequence of violating your boundaries. People don’t like to be told what to do, hence communicate your boundaries and if it gets violated; enforce the consequence. Boundaries without consequence is nagging. If you continue to give people the benefit of the doubt, eventually they would get the benefit and you get the doubt. 

Boundaries without consequence is nagging.

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On Complaining.

In Insight 11 Mins Read By

Complaining is like bad breath. We notice it when it comes out of someone else’s mouth, but not when it comes out of our own. – Will Bowen

Complaining involves expressing dissatisfaction, pain, uneasiness, censure, resentment, or grief; find fault. American poet Maya Angelou remarked: “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.” Most of the things we complain about are things we can change; perhaps complaining signals that we need to change something. We complain about things that we can influence, such as our spouse, friends, problems, but we hardly complain about things we cannot change such as gravity, rain, the seasons, etc.


When most people are unhappy with their boss, they complain to their spouse. When they are displeased with their spouse, they complain to their friends. They speak to anyone and everyone except the person who can actually improve the situation, and they live in disappointment and bewilderment, wondering why their relationships don’t improve. – Will Bowen, A Complain Free World

Complaining is not always bad as we might want to hear the view of someone else; it could be cathartic and even therapeutic. As former United States president Theodore Roosevelt once commented, “Complaining about a problem without posing a solution is called whining.” We usually complain to the wrong people, we complain about our boss to our spouse, complain about our spouse to our co-workers, complain about our siblings to our friends.

“Complaining about a problem without posing a solution is called whining.” – Theodore Roosevelt

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The StoryBrand Framework.

In Insight 8 Mins Read By

 In his book Building a StoryBrand, American author and public speaker Donald Miller presents the StoryBrand 7 Part Framework inspired by principles of storytelling. The SB7 Framework is a seven-step formula designed to help businesses streamline their marketing strategy by clarifying their message. With the SB7 Framework, you have the power to eliminate confusion, connect with customers, and grow your business.

“Think of the StoryBrand Framework as a recipe for a loaf of bread. Failure is like salt: use too much and you’ll ruin the flavor; leave it out and the recipe will taste bland. Regardless, the point is this: your story needs stakes.”

The StoryBrand 7 Part Framework is based on the hero journey which can be seen in most stories(movies)

  1. Every story starts with a character who wants something.
  2. A problem gets in the way of the character getting what they want.
  3. The character encounters a guide who can help them overcome their problem and get what they want.
  4. The guide gives the character a plan
  5. Calls them to action.
  6. By taking that action, the character avoids failure and
  7. Helps them achieve success
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Batch thy Time.

In Insight 7 Mins Read By

Time batching is a time management technique that involves grouping similar tasks together and setting aside time to complete them all or work on them until a predetermined point of progress. Time batching is analogous to doing laundry: You do not wash your clothes, socks, et al. every time you wear them, you batch the laundry of the clothes for a particular period of time: Saturdays or Sundays. Batching reduces the setup time for achieving certain activities and you become more effective and efficient with your time.

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Mono no Aware (物の哀れ) – The impermanence of things.

In Insight 6 Mins Read By

Mono no aware is a Japanese term for the awareness of impermanence (mujō 無常), or transience of things, and both a transient gentle sadness (or wistfulness) at their passing as well as a longer, deeper gentle sadness about this state being the reality of life.  Impermanence is the philosophical problem of change. In Buddhism, the three marks of existence are 3 characteristics of all existence and being namely: Impermanence (anicca), non-self (anatta), and unsatisfactoriness or suffering (dukkha).

When the heart weeps for what it has lost, the soul laughs for what it has found. ~ Sufi aphorism

The Greek philosopher Heraclitus shared the same sentiment that nothing in this world is constant except change and becoming (Everything is impermanent).

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kaizen

Kaizen 改善 – The Japanese art of Continuous Improvement.

In Insight 9 Mins Read By

Kaizen (改善) is a Japanese word that has two components – Kai 改(Change) and Zen 善 (Good) which translates to “Good Change”, “Change for the Better” or “Continuous Improvement.” It involves making changes for the better, small incremental changes that eventually amounts to extraordinary progress and result. In a business context, Kaizen refers to activities that continuously improve all functions and it usually involves everyone in the organizational value-chain from the CEO to the assembly line workers.

Kaizen was first implemented in Japanese factories and businesses after World War II. It was greatly influenced by American business and quality-management consultants like W. Edwards Deming who worked with Japanese industry leaders after world war II. It is one of the guiding principles of the Toyota Way. Other prominent Kaizen pioneers include Shigeo Shingo  (Toyota Production System) and Masaaki Imai (Founder of Kaizen Institute).

The Toyota Way is a set of principles and behaviors that underlie the Toyota Motor Corporation’s managerial approach and production system. In 2001, the Toyota Corporation published some set of guidelines and principles to clarify its values and business methods. The document was called “Toyota Way 2001“. It consists of two main pillars: “Continuous Improvement” and “Respect for People”. The Toyota Way further sub-divided continuous improvement into 3 sub-pillars: Challenge, Kaizen and Genchi Genbutsu (現地現物) which translates to “go and See”.

 Kaizen is mostly associated with manufacturing processes such as the one popularised in the Toyota Production System Originally called “just-in-time production” and it has also been used in other non-manufacturing environments/industries such as Healthcare, Information Technology, PsychoTherapy, Government, Banking, Supply Chain Management, etc.

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Bibliotherapy: Reading as a form of Therapy.

In Insight 4 Mins Read By

Bibliotherapy (also referred to as book therapy, poetry therapy, or therapeutic storytelling) is a creative arts therapies modality that involves storytelling or reading specific texts with the purpose of healing.

I recently stumbled on the concept of bibliotherapy while I was reading David Burns Book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. Burns referenced five studies in which researchers studied the effects of reading a good self-help book without any other form of therapy. He wrote:

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Martha Stout’s Thirteen Rules for Dealing with Sociopaths in Everyday Life

In Insight 9 Mins Read By

According to Dr. Martha Stout in her thought-provoking book, The Sociopath Next Door: “About one in twenty-five individuals are sociopathic, meaning, essentially, that they do not have a conscience.” The Sociopaths are roaming among us and they do not have a label on their head saying they are sociopaths. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, spouse, child, parents, siblings, lovers, or even you.

 4 percent of ordinary people—one in twenty-five—has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. 

Martha Stout’s 13 Rules for Dealing with Sociopaths in Everyday Life

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Kintsugi: The Japanese Art of embracing your Imperfections.

In Insight 8 Mins Read By

Until you are broken you don’t know what you’re made of.—Ziad K. Abdelnour

Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise. It is similar to the Japanese philosophy of wabi-sabi, an embracing of the flawed or imperfect.

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multitasking-myth

The Myth of Multitasking.

In Insight 14 Mins Read By

“Multitasking is merely the opportunity to screw up more than one thing at a time.” -Steve Uzze

Multitasking is our tendency to split our attention on more than one task or activity at the same time. It is a concept emanating from the computing world -the execution by a computer of more than one program or task simultaneously. Multitasking is a great lie we all tell ourselves, we feel we can juggle 5 things at the same time, hence we open 50 browser tabs, listen to music while surfing the internet, at the same time vacuuming, etc but the challenge is that we do not get much done because of this divided attention. Our brain is not wired to do multiple things at the same time.

It is only possible to do two things at a time if they require different cognitive capacities like reading a book & listening to music, driving, and talking on the phone (handsfree). We live in a society where multitasking is seen as a superpower – you see it in job descriptions, productivity experts encourage it, social media enables it and we groom our kids to be natural multitaskers. While multitasking, it seems like we are getting a lot done but in reality, it leads to reduced productivity and ultimately anxiety.

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