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June 2023

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“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”  – Mahatma Gandhi

Your dreams are valid but it is also expensive to dream. “The price of greatness is responsibility” former British prime minister, Winston Churchill once quipped. The bigger the dream, the bigger the price you would have to pay to achieve your dreams and aspirations. You are going to be violently opposed by your family, friends, and allies but a few might get it but the more you continue to dream; the opposition gets bigger. If you cannot pay the price, you cannot win the prize. The moment you decide to follow your most audacious dreams, people would project their fears and insecurities toward you and your aspirations. The self-doubts begin to crip in especially when the projections come from well-meaning family and friends.

“If you want to run, run a mile. If you want to experience a different life, run a marathon.”

In 26 Marathons: What I Learned About Faith, Identity, Running, and Life from My Marathon Career, four-time Olympian and marathoner Meb Keflezighi shares the life lessons he’s learned from each of the twenty-six marathons in his running career.

The book is organized by marathon, one per chapter, presented chronologically. The lessons cover everything that contributed to my success, which is to say pretty much everything imaginable—pacing and race tactics, family and faith, nutrition and training, mental toughness and goal setting.

Our greatest doubters before achieving any goal and dreams are usually the closest people to us such as our family, friends, acquaintances, caregivers, teachers, etc. The doubting starts from childhood when well-meaning family and friends begin to project their fears and insecurities into us by saying things like You cannot do that, it is impossible, people like us cannot do things like that, etc. That early programming and indoctrination sows the seed of our self-doubt early in life and ultimately becomes ingrained in us by adulthood. We settle for less than we are meant to be instead of aiming high, we aim low, instead dreaming, we settle for a life of mediocrity living in quiet desperation, tip-toeing throughout our short existence here on earth.

“Success is peace of mind that is the direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best  to become the best that you are capable of  becoming.” – John Wooden

Success is never an accident, and failure is usually not a coincidence. As author Jim Rohn put it,

“Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day; while failure is simply a few errors in judgment, repeated every day. It is the accumulative weight of our disciplines and our judgments that leads us to either fortune or failure. Failure is not a single, cataclysmic event. We do not fail overnight. Failure is the inevitable result of an accumulation of poor thinking and poor choices.”

To be successful, you don’t have to do extraordinary things, just do ordinary things extraordinarily well. You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great. The road to becoming successful in any endeavour takes a lot of grinding, grit, perseverance, persistence and hard work. Overnight success usually takes 10+ years of drills, workouts, pitch, reps, laps, sessions, roadwork, training, practice, preparation, routine and regimen. As the saying goes, “We play the way we train”. You cannot take people farther than you have gone; garbage in – garbage out.

If you work hard, what is hard would work but if your take shortcuts, you would be cut short.

lighthouse is a tower, building, or other type of physical structure designed to emit light from a system of lamps and lenses and to serve as a beacon for navigational aid for maritime pilots at sea or on inland waterways. 1 We all realize at some point that we cannot change people unless they are ready to change themselves. You can recommend all the books, your routine, regimen, and personal development hacks and tricks, but until they are ready to change it won’t work. Most of us get into romantic relationships to change our partner, not realizing that people change when they are ready and at their own pace. Leadership is a verb, not a noun; change yourself first to change people.

As the saying goes, “You cannot give what you do not have”, if you don’t take care of yourself, you ultimately cannot take care of anyone else. When you fly on an airplane, the flight attendant instructs the passengers to “Put on your oxygen mask before trying to help others,” even your child. The instruction is a great analogy for life and a strategy for navigating relationships with family and friends. Some of us are pathologically altruistic, dealing with a messiah complex, empathetic to a fault, and always giving to others without considering ourselves. This issue can be caused as a result of many reasons, such as family upbrings, societal and religious indoctrination, and birth order, among others.

Taking care of yourself and putting yourself first can somewhat be viewed as selfish but if you empty your tank by caretaking everyone else and not caring for yourself, it usually does not end well. You need to, at some point set healthy boundaries for yourself and others, be self-compassionate and kind in the process. Here are some strategies for caring for yourself.

Cal Newport is the author of two of the most influential books I have ever read in my quest to become more productive: Deep Work and Digital Minimalism. Both books really shaped my view on using social media, leading a productive life, and eliminating non-essentials. I am also an ardent listener of his podcast – Deep Questions with Cal Newport. In episode 252: The Deep Life Stack, cal elaborates on what he calls “The Deep Life Stack,” an approach to cultivating a deep life that starts with overhauling the person before making the big decisions. I found the idea to be very compelling and a great tool to lead a more productive life.

Cal is an MIT-trained computer science professor at Georgetown University who also writes about the intersections of technology, work, and the quest to find depth in an increasingly distracted world.

When you’re 20, you care what everyone thinks, when you’re 40 you stop caring what everyone thinks, when you’re 60, you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place.

Author, Podcaster and presenter of the Daily Jay Calm App meditation session Jay Shetty recently shared his conversation with fellow author and podcaster Mel Robbins on how to deal with judgement and criticism of others. Robbins stated, ” You are on the court; they are in the stand.” I found that statement very true, especially in our social media external validation-seeking world, where we constantly compare ourselves with others’ carefully curated highlight reels. We all receive opinions, feedback and advice from family, friends, frenemies, coworkers, strangers, acquaintances and social media followers.

“You can map out a fight plan or a life plan, but when the action starts, it may not go the way you planned, and you’re down to your reflexes – that means your [preparation:]. That’s where your roadwork shows. If you cheated on that in the dark of the morning, well, you’re going to get found out now, under the bright lights.” ― Joe Frazier, undisputed heavyweight champion

Former New York Mayor during the September 11, 2001, terrorist attack, Rudy Giuliani, once said, “Change is not a destination, just as hope is not a strategy.” If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.  Prior Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performances. The value of planning in executing any idea can not be overemphasized. As the French proverb says: “GOD loves the sailor, but he has to sail himself.” Hope is also essential; “Man can live 40 days without food, three days without water, eight minutes without air, but only one second without hope.” American military leader General Douglas MacArthur quipped, “You are as young as your hope, as old as your despair.

In The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Self-Mastery, bestselling author Brianna Wiest writes about self-sabotage. Why we do it, when we do it, and how to stop doing it—for good. 

Self-sabotage is when you have two conflicting desires. One is conscious, one is unconscious. You know how you want to move your life forward, and yet you are still, for some reason, stuck.

“In a snowstorm, when you’re trying to get from one place to another place, you never look up at the storm. You watch your feet. If you look up at the storm you will fall.’

It was May 2008, and the stock market in the U.S. was in free fall. Crashing home prices were starting to tank the economy. There was talk of a banking crisis. Investors everywhere were scared. Mellody Hobson was the president of Ariel Investments, the largest minority-owned investment firm in the U.S., managing the pensions and retirement funds for thousands of people.  Ariel was founded by John Rogers Jr., with about $11 billion of assets under management (AUM) and with pressure from institutional investors, Rogers Jr. and Hubson were feeling the heat as clients kept firing Ariel every day by moving their money.

When the phone clicked off and the news settled in, Rogers, 50, who had been managing Ariel since founding it at the age of 24, burst into tears. Mellody, who had worked with Rogers for 17 years and had never seen such a reaction from him, cried as well. After a long beat, the wounded Rogers placed the blame on himself, even telling Mellody he felt it was his fault because he picked the stocks. 1

Mellody Hobson is the Co-CEO, President, and Chairman of the Board of Trustees, at Ariel Investment Trust, a Chicago-based investment firm that specializes in small and mid-capitalized stocks based in the United States. Mellody currently serves as Non-Executive Chair of the Board of Starbucks Corporation and an independent director of JPMorgan Chase. In her Masterclass on Strategic Decision-Making, she shared tips and strategies for becoming a strategic thinker and also delves into two real-life case studies that exemplify how she applied these tools in complex business situations.

“You have a four-fold life to live: a body, a brain, a heart and a soul-these are your living tools. To use and develop them is not a task. It is a golden opportunity.”–William H. Danforth

Former United States Army general George S. Patton is often credited with saying, ” Sweat more in peace, bleed less in war.” That statement is true in almost every area of life, especially while training the body, mind and soul. I strive to have a daily routine based on various frameworks, such as the TIME Framework by Jay Shetty and the Morning S.A.V.E.R.S. Framework by Hal Erold. These two frameworks have been very influential in helping me develop a consistent daily routine.

My daily routine revolves around having a self-care regimen that includes the following.

  • Mind Gym (Mental): Read for an hour or 90 minutes first thing after waking up (4 AM daily)
  • Body Gym (Physical): Shoot basketball (60-90 minutes), Swim (60 minutes), Weightlift (60 minutes), Run or play pickleball.

In a new four-part series from Masterclass, Mastering the Markets, learn the most successful strategies of some of the market’s greatest minds—Ray Dalio, Meredith Whitney, Joel Greenblatt, and Seth Klarman—and use their wisdom to start building wealth. With new episodes every Tuesday, The founder of the world’s largest hedge fund (Ray Dalio). The “Oracle of Wall Street.” (Meredith Whitney) and Two value-investing visionaries (Joel Greenblatt, and Seth Klarman). They predicted shifts no one else saw coming and made money when others blew it on the next big thing.

British author, podcaster and former monk Jay Shetty is one of my favourite teachers, as I listen to him daily while meditating. His Daily Jay session on the Calm App is one of the guided meditations with which I start my day. I am also an ardent listener of his podcast – On Purpose with Jay Shetty.

In his inspiring and thought-provoking book, Book Summary -Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day, Jay shares a great self-care hack for dealing with negative thoughts called Spot, Stop, Swap. He writes